Sure, collecting the remaining Ohio counties was a major goal but not the only goal of this particular trip. The Ohio portion focused on the drive up and the drive back. Michigan was the destination. We spent significantly more time, several days in fact, based in East Lansing near Michigan State University. So despite the title, this post will focus exclusively on Michigan, and I won’t mention Ohio again after the current paragraph. Welcome to the “More” portion of this series. Ohio fans will have to wait until the final article for additional love.
The older kid finishes graduate school in May and we still had some unfinished business as the final weeks dwindled. Who knows when we’ll return to Michigan after that? Six years passed by so amazingly quickly, leading to undergraduate degrees in entomology and zoology, and a master’s degree in entomology. My little one with the curious mind is all grown up.
Frankenmuth
For instance, none of us had ever visited Frankenmuth, Michigan (map) even thought its over-the-top tackiness clearly meets the gold standard for Twelve Mile Circle attention. Now, we concluded, we had to see it or perhaps forever hold our peace.
Imagine a faux Bavarian town plopped into the Upper Midwest of the United States, with every bizarre stereotype and exaggeration on full display. Then drape a heaping layer of roadside attractions and sideshow Americana directly atop it. This is Frankenmuth in a nutshell. And who wouldn’t want to experience that?
German immigrants settled Frankenmuth in the 19th Century, like so many other areas extending from Pennsylvania to the Dakotas. Somehow, inexplicably only this one community developed such a warped, wonderful theme-park atmosphere invoking its heritage. Of course we had to experience it.
Bronner’s CHRISTmas Wonderland
Generally I’m not the Christmas Store type although the premise fascinates me as an aficionado of kitsch. I even mentioned this specific store before.
Behold Bronner’s CHRISTmas Wonderland, a beloved staple of Frankenmuth (map) featured previously in an article called Out of Season. It’s massive, and probably has every Christmas doodad available on planet earth today. I didn’t buy anything; I don’t need more stuff. But I sure enjoyed walking the aisles, slack-jawed and bug-eyed in utter amazement. I’m surprised security didn’t escort me from the premises.
It’s possible that someday, if I can stay off the naughty list and maybe snag a Christmas miracle, that I too will deserve a Bigfoot ornament.
Oh, this photo doesn’t even begin to do it justice. This scene goes on for acres and acres. They even hand out maps at the entrance. I thought the Santa Clause House in North Pole, Alaska was huge. Bronner’s is multiple times larger. They claim to be the largest Christmas store in the world and I believe them.
River Place Shops
This placed typified the sort-of manufactured Bavarian styling typical of Frankenmuth.
The River Place Shops (map) are like an outdoor mall or town center from a parallel universe. The shops didn’t feel all that different from what would appear on an Atlantic coastal boardwalk except with a Bavarian vibe instead of a beach. So, essentially, it included a full array of refreshments and sweets, Michigan branded apparel and tchotchkes, and time fillers like a mirror maze and a game room.
There wasn’t much foot traffic on cold rainy day in March. People were definitely happy to see us and now I own a few more snacks made with Michigan cherries than I probably need.
Holz Brücke Covered Bridge
I’m always going to find a covered bridge if it’s nearby and Frankenmuth made it easy. The Holz Brücke (literally “wooden bridge” in German) crossed the Cass River just off Main Street (map). So, for once I didn’t have to traipse out into the middle of nowhere. Holz Brücke provided an elegant front doorway to the Bavarian Inn Lodge, one of the town’s many resort destinations.
It’s not particularly old or historic as far as covered bridges go, and dates only to 1979. However it’s built to classic 19th Century standards and it looks really impressive. It’s also a lot longer than typical, reputedly the longest covered bridge in Michigan at 239 feet.
Frankenmuth Brewing
Well, while I’m sticking to the obvious, I might as well find a brewery too. And Frankenmuth has one of those, a pretty big one at that: the Frankenmuth Brewery. I’m sure it’s packed during tourist season although the crowd was a bit sparse during our stay. That’s fine, I could take some photos of the equipment without any pesky people in the background.
The brewery claimed a pedigree extending back to 1862 although that’s a bit of a stretch. There were several ownership changes over the years, a purchase out of bankruptcy, and various stops and reboots. Its modern era probably started around 1990 which is still approaching ancient as far as microbreweries go, making it one of the oldest in Michigan.
The Henry Ford
On another day we drove to the Henry Ford Museum of American Innovation in Dearborn, Michigan (map). That’s the proper name but they shorten it to “The Henry Ford” which sounds… weird. But whatever. Actually I wish we had more than a day because it was barely enough time to truly experience the museum, and we didn’t even touch the factory tour or the Greenfield Village property.
The Ford family had some serious money to throw around and it shows. They acquired some pretty remarkable artifacts like Lincoln’s chair from Fords Theater, the Rosa Park’s bus, and JFK’s limo. The whole place was Smithsonian quality.
And McDonald’s?
The kid wanted to see a McDonald’s so we went to a McDonald’s. However, it was a very specific McDonald’s sitting on the edge of the Michigan State University campus (map). It featured MSU branding throughout and included a second floor. Six years attending MSU without ever stepping inside this McDonald’s? Well, yes, and not a lot of time left with a graduation looming. So we went to this special McDonald’s, climbed the stairs to the second floor, and enjoyed the ambiance such as it was.
I’ve gone much further for oddities dramatically less remarkable so this was a easy wish to grant.
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