Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll

On February 23, 2014 · 1 Comments

The search engine query landed with an explosion on Twelve Mile Circle, hoping to uncover the ultimate in unlikely conspiracy theories, "Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll." The article you are reading right now was the first time that Mr. Coleman ever appeared in these pages as far as I could remember, and as confirmed by a quick search of every phrase that’s ever been published on this domain. I may never know why or how the mysterious forces of the Intertubes thought that 12MC might provide a solution. I can only thank whatever happy sparks of coincidence delivered this outlandish premise to my doorstep for my personal amusement.

I did know one thing: I wanted to cement the status of 12MC as the top of the list should anyone ever again drop Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll into a search engine.

The Grassy Knoll, Dallas, Texas, USA

The primary concern with this supposition, as I saw it, was the very simple fact that Gary Coleman was born in 1968. The John F. Kennedy assassination in Dallas, Texas — and the possibility of additional shooter(s) on the grassy knoll — happened in 1963. And yes, I realized that the query was more than likely posted by someone searching for the most ridiculous conspiracy theory imaginable, probably out of simple boredom just to see if anyone had ever made the claim before. That didn’t make it any less awesome. Maybe that made it more awesome. Would it even be possible to imagine something more outlandish?

It had been a long, tragic ride for Gary Coleman as he nosedived from his childhood starring role in Diff’rent Strokes all the way down to Midgets Vs. Mascots (also staring Ron Jeremy… I don’t even want to know) not long before his untimely death in 2010. I have visited the Grassy Knoll and unless Mr. Coleman somehow mastered interdimensional time travel, I’d say it would be fairly safe to assume that he didn’t play a role. Still, "Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll" remained my favorite 12MC query ever.


The Grassy Knoll at Dealey Plaza

While we’re on the topic, my "Grassy Knoll at Dealey Plaza" photograph continues to hold the record for being the most frequently stolen image on Twelve Mile Circle. It got so bad after awhile that I finally had to add that little tag-line at the bottom of the graphic to keep potential copyright violators at bay. That seemed to work.

Grassy Knoll Dr., Romeoville, Illinois, USA

it surprised me to find quite an abundance of roads in the United States named Grassy Knoll given the emotionally-charged nature of the phrase. Perhaps some of them predated 1963 although I didn’t know what to make of the others. A few examples included:

  • Grassy Knoll Way, Elk Grove, California (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Drive, Tavares, Florida (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Drive, South Bend, Indiana (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Drive, Romeoville, Illinois (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Circle, Shreveport, Louisiana (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Terrace, Germantown, Maryland (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Street, Las Vegas, Nevada (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Lane, Raleigh, North Carolina (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Road, Gaffney, South Carolina (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Lane, La Marque, Texas (map)
  • Grassy Knoll Court, Woodbridge, Virginia (map)

I provided only one example per state, otherwise I’d probably still be recording and posting them. Most of these instances appeared in neighborhoods with bucolic themes, allowing Grassy Knoll to slip-in unnoticed within prevailing street names and norms. Some occurrences, since we’re conspiracy minded at the moment, might have included subtly hidden references to the Kennedy assassination. Notably,

Some say… a Nixon Connection?

  • In Raleigh, North Carolina, Grassy Knoll Lane fell close to Daingerfield Drive. One could certainly characterize the grassy knoll as a "danger field."
  • In Tavares, Florida, a housing development included Grassy Knoll Drive and Waters Gate Drive. Some say (notice how I slipped-in "some say" the favored expression of baseless claims) that Richard Nixon was involved in the Kennedy assassination and subsequent coverup. Nixon, of course, was brought down by the Watergate scandal.
  • In Woodbridge, Virginia, Grassy Knoll Court bordered on Slippery Elm Court. President Kennedy was riding down Elm Street in front of the Grassy Knoll when he was shot!

.. or they could have been completely coincidental. However, when has that ever stopped anyone from posting a reckless statement on the Internet? Never?

Rest in Peace, Mr. Coleman.

Completely Unrelated

Loyal reader Glenn noted that Napoleon and Wellington met at Waterloo east of Kansas City, Missouri.

(A) Napoleon, (B) Waterloo, and (C) Wellington, in Missouri

Famously, Napoleon Bonaparte and Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington met in battle at Waterloo, south of Brussels, Belgium in 1815. Now they continue to do so into perpetuity in Missouri. Glenn couldn’t find definitive evidence to prove that Waterloo, Missouri was named intentionally to fit the theme, however it seemed too remarkable to be completely coincidental.

Is anyone aware of other contiguous towns named for a battle and its opposing combatants?

On February 23, 2014 · 1 Comments

One Response to “Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll”

  1. Peter says:

    Dealey Plaza of assassination infamy is the only location bearing that name. In fact the Dealey name itself scarcely exists. There’s a Dealey Avenue elsewhere in Dallas that’s presumably named after the same person, a Dealey Street in western Ohio, and a Dealey Circle in Honolulu.

    Regarding the Nixon connection, a bit of trivia is that Richard Nixon was in Dallas on the day of JFK’s assassination, giving a speech to a convention of Pepsi executives. He caught a flight back to New York shortly before the assassination and was in the air when it occurred.

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